ticktocksheep:

“Hey, buy me this thing”

“lol ok”

“waIT NO I WAS KIDDING PLEASE DON’T OH MY GOD I CAN’T ACCEPT THIS STOP BEING SO NICE DON’T YOU DARE GET ME THIS THING I ASKED FOR I SWEAR TO GOD”

115.384 Anmerkungen

psyducked:

I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do

130.356 Anmerkungen

zachlilley:

why develop feelings for people when you can just walk into traffic and achieve the same results

122.873 Anmerkungen

cliterallysame:

me

juicylouture:

i was havin a great time until i remembered that i was ugly

19.680 Anmerkungen

captawesomesauce:

I dunno… I still think little kids are evil and dangerous no matter how you raise them. Frankly, they scare me and I’m not opposed to banning children across the world outright. Maybe we should just stick to cats and dogs after all, they’re much safer, more loyal, less expensive and just all around better.

oprahs-right-nipple:

when i was at my first high school there was this really religious girl who would tell you off if you swore or said stuff like ‘oh my god’ and then one day she wouldn’t stop correcting the science teacher and he just turned around and went “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SOPHIE SHUT THE FUCK UP” and she freaked out and started praying and then the next week her parents tried to sue the teacher 

24.362 Anmerkungen

chanel-and-louboutins:

Chanel-and-Louboutins.tumblr.com